Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Spotted on Discord:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Making waves on Instagram:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Just landed via Facebook:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Seen just now on Slack:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Trending via Facebook:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Going viral on Messenger:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Trending via Facebook:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Funny designating quotes

New funny designating quotes 👇

All funny designating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Telegram this month:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

80 shares on X this month:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

38 shares on X this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Just landed via YouTube:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Just landed via Messenger:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Just landed via WeChat:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Going viral on YouTube:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴