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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Trending via Pinterest:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Going bananas on Slack:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Just shared via Instagram:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Spotted on Twitch:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Trending via Discord:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Shared recently on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

15 Funny determination quotes

More funny determination quotes 👇

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

1 month ago

determination, going, hell, keep, keep going, motivation, perseverance, resilience, struggle
Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

1 month ago

determination, due, humor, i, life, motivation, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons
Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

1 month ago

attitude, determination, doing, everyone, freedom, humor, i, independence, keep, stubbornness, unfortunately, want, whatever
Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

1 month ago

baby, determination, face, grab, humor, just, literally, mischief, parenting, step, toddler, want
If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

1 month ago

again, determination, door, going, humor, just, motivation, open, persistence

For even more funny determination quotes, hit next 👇

All funny determination quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

70 shares on Slack this month:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

84 shares on X this month:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Making waves on Discord:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Spotted on TikTok:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Just landed via X:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Just shared via X:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Making waves on X:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Live now on WeChat:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Breaking via Reddit:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

15 Funny determination quotes

More funny determination quotes 👇

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

All funny determination quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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