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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,876

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Just landed via Twitch:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Spotted on Facebook:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Just landed via Instagram:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Seen just now on Instagram:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Going bananas on Reddit:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Trending via WhatsApp:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Just landed via WeChat:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Trending via Threads:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Trending via TikTok:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Spotted on YouTube:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Just landed via Threads:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

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