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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Just shared via Facebook:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Making waves on Telegram:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Reported on Threads:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Breaking via Slack:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Just shared via Telegram:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Reported on Slack:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Seen just now on YouTube:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Just shared via TikTok:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

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