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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Spreading quickly via X:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Spotted on Threads:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Trending via Slack:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Home » Funny Drunken Panda Quotes

Funny drunken panda quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Making waves on Slack:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Just landed via Reddit:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Trending via Threads:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Shared recently on Discord:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Live now on WeChat:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

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