Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Trending via Messenger:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Just landed via TikTok:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Shared recently on Threads:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Spotted on X:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Going viral on Messenger:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Just shared via Messenger:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Funny emotionally distant quotes

New funny emotionally distant quotes 👇

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

1 week ago

always, commitment, commitment issue, dating, distant, emotionally, emotionally distant, eye, fish, got, humor, issue, issues, people, relationship, salmon, say, sea, specific

All funny emotionally distant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

90 shares on Threads this month:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

78 shares on Slack this month:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

77 shares on Threads this month:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

77 shares on Discord this month:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Just landed via WeChat:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Going viral on WeChat:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Seen just now on Discord:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Just landed via YouTube:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Going viral on Messenger:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Just shared via YouTube:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Just landed via Slack:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny emotionally distant quotes

New funny emotionally distant quotes 👇

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

All funny emotionally distant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨