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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,580

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Going viral on Telegram:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Going viral on Twitch:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Making waves on Instagram:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Live now on X:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Breaking via Instagram:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Funny england quotes

Funny England quotes bring a cheeky twist to the quirks of British life 🇬🇧😂 From tea obsessions to rainy day vibes ☔️🍵, these witty sayings capture the perfect blend of charm and sarcasm. Whether you’re a Brit or just love all things England, get ready to laugh out loud and celebrate the humor behind the Union Jack! 🎉🤣 #BritishHumor #LOL

New funny england quotes 👇

All funny england quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Telegram this month:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Weirdos gonna weird.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Live now on Instagram:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Spotted on TikTok:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Just landed via Messenger:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

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