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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Trending via Reddit:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Making waves on YouTube:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Seen just now on X:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Just shared via Instagram:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Live now on Pinterest:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Funny equal pay quotes

New funny equal pay quotes 👇

All funny equal pay quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

20 shares on X this month:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

68 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

70 shares on Slack this month:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Just shared via Facebook:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Just landed via Snapchat:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Live now on TikTok:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

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