Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Going viral on Discord:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Trending via Threads:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Shared recently on Slack:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Going viral on TikTok:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Funny expired food quotes

New funny expired food quotes 👇

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

1 month ago

advice, apocalypse, canned, canned goods, dead, eat, expired, expired food, food, funny advice, goods, humor, pantry, still, survival, takeaway, walking, Walking Dead, zombie, zombie apocalypse

All funny expired food quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

91 shares on Threads this month:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

60 shares on Discord this month:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Just shared via Reddit:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Making waves on Discord:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Spotted on X:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Going viral on X:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Just shared via Facebook:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny expired food quotes

New funny expired food quotes 👇

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

All funny expired food quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨