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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Spotted on Telegram:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Reported on YouTube:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Just landed via Discord:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Breaking via Messenger:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Just landed via Facebook:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

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Funny exploring quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Trending via WhatsApp:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Going viral on Instagram:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Making waves on TikTok:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

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