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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Live now on LinkedIn:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Just landed via Threads:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Live now on Messenger:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Live now on Telegram:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Making waves on Telegram:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Spotted on Instagram:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Spotted on TikTok:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

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Funny extra hour quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Making waves on Instagram:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Just landed via WeChat:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Just shared via Instagram:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Just shared via Reddit:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Reported on X:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

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