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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Breaking via YouTube:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Trending via Messenger:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Trending via Snapchat:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Spotted on Threads:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Funny facial neutral quotes

New funny facial neutral quotes 👇

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

1 week ago

anger, angry, awkwardness, deadpan, expression, facial, facial expression, facial neutral, humor, i, joke, killer, neutral, neutral expression, personality, serial, serial killer, social, social awkwardness, suffer, syndrome, where

All funny facial neutral quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

97 shares on Threads this month:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

10 shares on WeChat this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

January: the Monday of months.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Going bananas on Threads:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Shared recently on X:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Going viral on Threads:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Making waves on Telegram:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Trending via Instagram:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny facial neutral quotes

New funny facial neutral quotes 👇

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

All funny facial neutral quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨