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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Spotted on Facebook:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Just shared via TikTok:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Shared recently on Reddit:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Making waves on Slack:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Just landed via Threads:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Making waves on Threads:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Funny flirty quotes

Funny flirty quotes are the perfect way to sprinkle some charm and laughter into your day 😄💬 Whether you’re sliding into DMs or just teasing a crush, these cheeky lines bring the fun and spark ✨🔥 Get ready to flirt with a wink and a smile, because who said flirting can’t be hilarious? 😉❤️ #FlirtyVibes #LaughAndLove

New funny flirty quotes 👇

All funny flirty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

23 shares on X this month:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

24 shares on Slack this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Seen just now on X:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Freshly posted on Discord:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Going viral on Telegram:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Just shared via Reddit:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Spotted on Messenger:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Shared recently on Threads:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Live now on Snapchat:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

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