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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Trending via Pinterest:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Making waves on WeChat:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Going bananas on Discord:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Going viral on YouTube:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Trending via Snapchat:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Going viral on YouTube:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Trending via X:

Dear Santa, Money!

Funny fullest quotes

Funny fullest quotes bring a burst of laughter and lighthearted vibes to your day! 😂✨ Whether you need a quick mood boost or some witty wisdom served with a smile, these gems are perfect for sharing and spreading joy. Ready to fill your feed with humor and positivity? Let’s dive into the funniest, fullest expressions that keep the good times rolling! 🎉😄 #LaughOutLoud #GoodVibesOnly

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

84 shares on Discord this month:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Trending via Snapchat:

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Making waves on TikTok:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Trending via Slack:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Breaking via Twitch:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Making waves on Threads:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

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