772 funny fun quotes - Page 7 - Wordgag

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

May 26, 2026

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

May 26, 2026

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

May 26, 2026

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

May 26, 2026

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

May 26, 2026

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

May 26, 2026

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

May 26, 2026

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

May 26, 2026

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

May 26, 2026

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

May 26, 2026

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

May 26, 2026

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

May 26, 2026

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

May 26, 2026

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

May 26, 2026

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

May 25, 2026

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

May 25, 2026

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

May 25, 2026

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

May 25, 2026

I need you to put the fun in refund!

May 25, 2026

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

May 25, 2026

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

May 25, 2026

Sane is boring.

May 25, 2026

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

May 25, 2026

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

May 25, 2026

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

May 25, 2026

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

May 25, 2026

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

May 25, 2026

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

May 25, 2026

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

May 25, 2026

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

May 25, 2026

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

May 25, 2026

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

May 25, 2026

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

May 25, 2026

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

May 25, 2026

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

May 25, 2026

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

May 25, 2026

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

May 25, 2026

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

May 25, 2026

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

May 25, 2026

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

May 25, 2026