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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

19 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Going viral on Discord:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Spotted on X:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Just shared via Messenger:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Live now on Instagram:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Trending via YouTube:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

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Funny funny job quotes

New funny funny job quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Commentary:
Well, looks like Britney is serving up more than just hit singles at Scoops! 🎤🍦 Who knew she had a knack for mixing up tasty treats along with catchy tunes? "Oops, she scooped it again!" 😂👩🏼‍🎤

For even more funny funny job quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny funny job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

19 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Just shared via Slack:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Going viral on Facebook:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Trending via Facebook:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Making waves on Twitch:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Just landed via Twitch:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

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