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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Reported on TikTok:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Broadcasted on Slack:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Breaking via Telegram:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Just landed via TikTok:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Just landed via Discord:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Just shared via YouTube:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Spotted on Twitch:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Threads:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

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