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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,825

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Seen just now on Threads:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Breaking via Slack:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Just landed via Discord:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Seen just now on WeChat:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Going viral on YouTube:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

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Funny funny pet quotes

New funny funny pet quotes 👇

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

0

5 months ago

animal, animal reaction, behavior, cat, funny pet, hiss, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, reaction, row, sneeze, times

All funny funny pet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on X this month:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

27 shares on X this month:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

47 shares on X this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

17 shares on Slack this month:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Shared recently on Instagram:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Going viral on YouTube:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny funny pet quotes

New funny funny pet quotes 👇

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

All funny funny pet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨