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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Trending via Snapchat:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Trending via X:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Spotted on Discord:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Live now on Reddit:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Spotted on Discord:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Spotted on Threads:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Shared recently on Telegram:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Breaking via Pinterest:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Going viral on X:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

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