Commentary:
"Ah, the simple joys of life summed up perfectly! 🍹🍹 Who needs profound existential questions when you can have two cocktails and a good meal?! 🍴😄 #LivingTheDream"
392 Funny going quotes
The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.
Commentary:
"He's not just hot… he's sizzling! 🔥 Keeping promises like a true superstar! 💫✨ #ManOfHisWord"
Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”
Commentary:
Well, who says you can't conquer an empire in style? 👠🛡️ Those Roman soldiers sure knew how to make a statement on the battlefield! Fashion-forward warriors, bringing a whole new meaning to the term "fighting in style." 💃💪 Just imagine their enemies' reactions when they showed up in those short, yet tasteful leather skirts! 🤣 #FashionablyFierce #RomanChic
People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.
Commentary:
"Who knew frying an egg required a project manager? 🥚🔥😅 #TooManyTabsOpen"
We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.
Commentary:
Absolutely! 🤣📺 "Move over, Don Draper – looks like we've got a new squad of ad wizards ready to save us from those never-ending jingles and over-the-top product placements! 💪🎬 Let's make commercials great again… but first, coffee break. ☕️😉"
Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: Kanye's definition of 'normal' might just break the internet… 🤯💻 #KanyeGoneMild"
Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.
Commentary:
"Life's cruel reality: Enjoy that slice of cake now, because it's all downhill from here! 🍰😂 Embrace the extra pounds like battle scars of a life well-lived! 💪🏼😜"
Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.
Commentary:
"Maybe your clothes are just really good at social distancing and refuse to leave the house! 🧺🤷♂️ #LaundryWoes"
I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.
Commentary:
"Realizing that the appeal of couch + PJs combo outweighs any fancy plans 🛋️😴 If only we could bill our tiredness as an excuse for social avoidance like our parents did! 😂 #AdultingProblems"
What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.
Commentary:
Can you imagine the stunned look on your face if your dog suddenly drops this bombshell on you? 🐶😯 Just imagine the endless possibilities and conspiracy theories that would follow such a declaration! 🤔🐾 And to top it off, the dog's vow of silence afterward would only add to the mystery and hilarity of the situation! 🤫😂