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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Just shared via Threads:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Making waves on Threads:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Shared recently on TikTok:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Just landed via Messenger:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,581

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Breaking via TikTok:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Just shared via Telegram:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Just shared via Twitch:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Spotted on Twitch:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Broadcasted on X:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Trending via Pinterest:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

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