Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,775

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Trending via TikTok:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Making waves on Threads:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Going viral on WeChat:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Just shared via X:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Making waves on TikTok:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Live now on X:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Funny good old days quotes

Funny good old days quotes bring a burst of nostalgia mixed with laughter 🎉😄, reminding us how wild, weird, and wonderful the past really was! From awkward fashion choices to unforgettable moments, these playful sayings take you on a joyride down memory lane 🚀📼. Ready to chuckle and cringe at those golden times? Let’s dive into some hilarious throwback vibes that prove the good old days were anything but boring! 😂✨

New funny good old days quotes 👇

All funny good old days quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,775

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Live now on X:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All I think about is death and sex.

Going viral on Instagram:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Breaking via X:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

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