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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Just landed via Discord:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Making waves on Reddit:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Going viral on Discord:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Spotted on Messenger:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Trending via WeChat:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Just shared via Twitch:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Broadcasted on Slack:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Just landed via X:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Just shared via Telegram:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Going viral on Discord:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Breaking via Twitch:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Reported on Instagram:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

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