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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2340 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,502

Funny Quotes Topics

15,207

Funny Quotes Images

12,502

Updated

14 seconds ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Spotted on Threads:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Spotted on Instagram:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Seen just now on Telegram:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Freshly posted on Threads:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Live now on Telegram:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Going viral on WeChat:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2340 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,502

Funny Quotes Topics

15,207

Funny Quotes Images

12,502

Updated

14 seconds ago

Users Online

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Trending via X:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Trending via Discord:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

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