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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Making waves on Telegram:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Just shared via Telegram:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Trending via Snapchat:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Seen just now on Slack:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Just shared via Facebook:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Spotted on Reddit:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Funny headbutt quotes

New funny headbutt quotes 👇

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

1 month ago

adore, affection, behavior, bet, cat, feels, funny observation, good, headbutt, i, observation, pet, pet behavior, someone

All funny headbutt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Freshly posted on Discord:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Going viral on Telegram:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Going viral on Threads:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Shared recently on Discord:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Trending via WeChat:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

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Funny headbutt quotes

New funny headbutt quotes 👇

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

All funny headbutt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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