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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Going viral on Reddit:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Just shared via Discord:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Shared recently on Telegram:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Just shared via X:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Making waves on Telegram:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

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Funny ice-cream shop quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Reported on Instagram:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Trending via YouTube:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Spotted on Threads:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Just landed via Threads:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Making waves on TikTok:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Going viral on Facebook:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

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