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Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,985

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Going viral on X:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Breaking via TikTok:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Home » Funny Index Quotes

Funny index quotes

New funny index quotes 👇

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

0

3 months ago

always, day, ew, finger, hesitation, humor, i, index, index finger, poke, procrastination, seize, seize the day, sometimes

All funny index quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

69 shares on X this month:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

71 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Going viral on WeChat:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

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Funny index quotes

New funny index quotes 👇

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

All funny index quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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