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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Making waves on YouTube:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Trending via X:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Spotted on X:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Funny inner calm quotes

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Discord this month:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

65 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Just landed via X:

My middle finger salutes you.

Trending via Reddit:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Just shared via Reddit:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Spotted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Going bananas on WeChat:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Just shared via Slack:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Breaking via Threads:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

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