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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Going viral on Slack:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Just landed via Discord:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Going viral on Slack:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Going viral on Slack:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Funny insect bite quotes

New funny insect bite quotes 👇

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

0

2 months ago

activity, bite, call, dirt, dirty, fun, fun activity, gardener, insect, insect bite, only, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, relaxing, sunburn, sweat, sweaty

Someone from 🇨🇿 has recently copied this quote.

113 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny insect bite quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

58 shares on X this month:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

If you relate to me, get some help!

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Seen just now on Threads:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Going viral on Reddit:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Making waves on Messenger:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Spotted on Facebook:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Spotted on TikTok:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Making waves on Instagram:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Just shared via Facebook:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny insect bite quotes

New funny insect bite quotes 👇

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

All funny insect bite quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨