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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1874 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,036

Funny Quotes Topics

14,823

Funny Quotes Images

12,036

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Shared recently on Threads:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Spotted on Reddit:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Just landed via Discord:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Reported on X:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Just shared via Messenger:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Going viral on Slack:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1874 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,036

Funny Quotes Topics

14,823

Funny Quotes Images

12,036

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Reported on LinkedIn:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Going viral on YouTube:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Just shared via X:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Just shared via X:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

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