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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Trending via Discord:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Spotted on Reddit:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Seen just now on Facebook:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Just shared via Twitch:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Spotted on YouTube:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

4,003

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Going viral on Messenger:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Just landed via Discord:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Just landed via Facebook:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Trending via Slack:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

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