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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1845 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,007

Funny Quotes Topics

14,803

Funny Quotes Images

12,007

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Making waves on Discord:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Making waves on Slack:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Spotted on TikTok:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Going viral on Threads:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Breaking via TikTok:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1845 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,007

Funny Quotes Topics

14,803

Funny Quotes Images

12,007

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Freshly posted on Slack:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Shared recently on Threads:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Seen just now on Discord:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Breaking via Snapchat:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Reported on Twitch:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

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