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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Seen just now on Discord:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Going viral on Pinterest:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Making waves on YouTube:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Just landed via Messenger:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Spotted on Slack:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Shared recently on Slack:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Funny internet user quotes

New funny internet user quotes 👇

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

3 days ago

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All funny internet user quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

37 shares on X this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

96 shares on YouTube this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Seen just now on YouTube:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Broadcasted on X:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Going viral on Slack:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Making waves on Telegram:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Spotted on Telegram:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

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Funny internet user quotes

New funny internet user quotes 👇

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

All funny internet user quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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