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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Going viral on WeChat:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Going viral on Slack:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Live now on Snapchat:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Just shared via Slack:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Just shared via X:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Trending via Telegram:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Making waves on Twitch:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Funny invisible accessory quotes

New funny invisible accessory quotes 👇

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

1 month ago

accessory, canary, exaggeration, fragrance, humor, invisible, invisible accessory, kill, perfume, room, scent

All funny invisible accessory quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Instagram this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

22 shares on X this month:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Just shared via YouTube:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Just shared via Facebook:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

Just landed via Instagram:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny invisible accessory quotes

New funny invisible accessory quotes 👇

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

All funny invisible accessory quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨