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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,997

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Trending via TikTok:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Just landed via Telegram:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Seen just now on Threads:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,700

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Live now on Instagram:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Going viral on Slack:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Seen just now on Reddit:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Going viral on Facebook:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Trending via Messenger:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

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