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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Going viral on Reddit:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Breaking via Slack:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Making waves on WeChat:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Trending via Snapchat:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Funny kid boredom quotes

New funny kid boredom quotes 👇

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

21 hours ago

bored, boredom, enough, entertain, entertainment, family, family life, favorite, getting, humor, kid, kid boredom, kids, life, parenting, patience, point, self, self entertainment

All funny kid boredom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Discord this month:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

76 shares on X this month:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

53 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Just shared via TikTok:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Live now on Slack:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Just landed via Telegram:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny kid boredom quotes

New funny kid boredom quotes 👇

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

All funny kid boredom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨