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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Seen just now on Slack:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Just shared via Reddit:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Shared recently on Slack:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Funny layoff quotes

Funny layoff quotes 😂💼 turn a tough situation into a moment of laughter and lightness! When jobs say goodbye, these witty lines bring smiles 😄 and remind us that humor is the best comeback. Whether you’re dealing with the unexpected or just need a chuckle, these quotes will brighten your day 🌟 and keep the mood upbeat. Because sometimes, laughter really is the best severance package! 🎉✨

New funny layoff quotes 👇

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

0

2 months ago

5, ago, boss, diarrhea, embarrassment, humor, i, job, laid, layoff, miscommunication, months, prank, telling, texting, workplace
Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

0

2 months ago

donuts, humor, job, just, layoff, snack, tank, think, think tank, thinking, workplace

All funny layoff quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Discord this month:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

11 shares on Discord this month:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I must retire to my chambers about this.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Spotted on Reddit:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Going viral on YouTube:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Making waves on WeChat:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Making waves on Discord:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Making waves on Reddit:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Spotted on Slack:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Making waves on Reddit:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴