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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Live now on Snapchat:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Spotted on Discord:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Trending via Reddit:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

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Funny legal system quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Going viral on Messenger:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Just landed via Instagram:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

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