Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Just shared via Threads:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Seen just now on Instagram:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Live now on Slack:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Making waves on YouTube:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Just shared via Messenger:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Funny lime quotes

Funny lime quotes 🍋 bring a zesty twist to your day, adding a splash of humor as refreshing as a cool citrus breeze! Whether you’re feeling a little sour or just need a juicy laugh 😂, these lime-inspired gems are sure to brighten your mood and tickle your taste buds for fun. Get ready to pucker up and smile wide with some tangy wordplay that’s anything but ordinary! 🌟🍈

New funny lime quotes 👇

All funny lime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

That fight could’ve been an email.

17 shares on X this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Breaking via Messenger:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Spotted on Reddit:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Just landed via Slack:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Trending via Telegram:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Just landed via Slack:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

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