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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Making waves on Facebook:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Just landed via Messenger:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Freshly posted on X:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Live now on YouTube:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Spotted on Telegram:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Funny lost money quotes

New funny lost money quotes 👇

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

1 week ago

couple, funny situation, humor, husband, irony, lost, lost money, money, relationship, search, situation, spending, yesterday

All funny lost money quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on WeChat this month:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

27 shares on Slack this month:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

32 shares on X this month:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Trending via Snapchat:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Just landed via TikTok:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Trending via Discord:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny lost money quotes

New funny lost money quotes 👇

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

All funny lost money quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨