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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Just shared via TikTok:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Just landed via Reddit:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Live now on Slack:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Home » Funny Manifesto Quotes

Funny manifesto quotes

New funny manifesto quotes 👇

4 months ago

Commentary:
Promises made after a few drinks have the same shelf life as a politician's campaign promises—zero percent reliability! 🍻🤷‍♂️✨

anything, commitment, drunk, equivalent, exaggeration, giving, happen, humor, manifesto, me, politician, promise, sarcasm, unreliability

All funny manifesto quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,690

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Seen just now on WeChat:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Just landed via X:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Just landed via YouTube:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Making waves on WeChat:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Going viral on Slack:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

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