Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Live now on Snapchat:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Making waves on Twitch:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Going viral on Messenger:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Trending via Snapchat:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Making waves on YouTube:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Going viral on X:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Spreading quickly via X:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Just landed via Threads:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Funny Mercury retrograde quotes

Funny Mercury retrograde quotes bring a hilarious twist to those chaotic cosmic moments 🌌✨ When communication goes haywire and plans hit unexpected bumps, these witty sayings turn frustration into laughter 😂💫 Get ready to embrace the universe’s playful side and find humor in the stars’ mischievous dance 🌠🌀 Perfect for sharing with friends or just brightening your day during retrograde madness!

New funny Mercury retrograde quotes 👇

All funny Mercury retrograde quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

97 shares on Facebook this month:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

93 shares on X this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Going bananas on Slack:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Trending via Telegram:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Trending via Instagram:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Spotted on Twitch:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Freshly posted on X:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴