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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Spotted on Threads:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Live now on Instagram:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Going viral on Telegram:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Just shared via Messenger:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Reported on Instagram:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Just landed via Twitch:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Trending via Discord:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Shared recently on X:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Just landed via X:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Trending via Telegram:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Just shared via Facebook:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

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