Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Trending via Threads:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Spotted on Discord:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Trending via Facebook:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Making waves on Facebook:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Going bananas on Discord:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Making waves on WeChat:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Funny meth quotes

Funny meth quotes bring a wild twist to humor that’s as bold as it is unexpected 🤪🔥 Whether you’re here for laughs or just curious about the craziest takes on a serious topic, these witty lines will have you chuckling and shaking your head at the same time 😂💥 Get ready for a mix of clever wordplay and edgy fun that’s anything but ordinary!

New funny meth quotes 👇

All funny meth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

29 shares on Threads this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

83 shares on X this month:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to consult the woods about this.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Making waves on Instagram:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Spotted on Threads:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

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