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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Live now on YouTube:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Just shared via Twitch:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Going viral on WeChat:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Funny monologue quotes

Funny monologue quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 🎭 and wit to any moment! Whether you’re prepping for a performance or just need a good laugh 😂, these gems will have you chuckling and stealing the spotlight 🎤. Ready to brighten your day with some clever, quirky lines? Let’s dive into the funniest monologues that bring smiles and snickers every time! 😄✨

New funny monologue quotes 👇

All funny monologue quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Discord this month:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

77 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Spotted on Instagram:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Spotted on Twitch:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

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