Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Just shared via Reddit:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Spotted on Discord:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Going bananas on Threads:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Going viral on YouTube:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Spotted on WeChat:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Going bananas on Slack:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Funny New Year’s resolution quotes

New funny New Year’s resolution quotes 👇

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

4 weeks ago

bet, humor, less, lose, loss, new, New Year’s resolution, others, presumption, resolution, rude, rudeness, sarcasm, weight, weight loss, year’s, yours
As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

4 weeks ago

40s, age, even, family, father, humor, husband, loud, new, New Year’s resolution, proud, resolution, sneeze, year, year’s

All funny New Year’s resolution quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

54 shares on Discord this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Body by sandwich.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

56 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Just shared via YouTube:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Just shared via YouTube:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Freshly posted on X:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Spotted on Facebook:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny New Year’s resolution quotes

New funny New Year’s resolution quotes 👇

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

All funny New Year’s resolution quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨