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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

821 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,983

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,983

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Just landed via X:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just landed via Threads:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Just landed via WeChat:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Seen just now on Twitch:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Trending via Telegram:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Home » Funny New Year’s Resolution Quotes

Funny New Year’s resolution quotes

New funny New Year’s resolution quotes 👇

For even more funny New Year’s resolution quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny New Year’s resolution quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

821 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,983

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,983

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Breaking via TikTok:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Going viral on WeChat:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Reported on YouTube:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

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