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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Just landed via Twitch:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Trending via Discord:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Just landed via WeChat:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Just shared via X:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Going viral on X:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Just landed via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Just landed via Twitch:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

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