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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Seen just now on WeChat:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Going viral on Telegram:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Just shared via Messenger:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Shared recently on Instagram:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

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Funny off their face quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Reported on Snapchat:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Trending via Discord:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Spotted on Threads:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Just landed via Threads:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Going viral on Telegram:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Making waves on Twitch:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Trending via Threads:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

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