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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Just shared via Threads:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Trending via Discord:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Spotted on Messenger:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Funny one-pot recipe quotes

New funny one-pot recipe quotes 👇

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

1 week ago

cook, cooking, humor, i, kitchen, less, love, mess, much, one-pot, one-pot recipe, pot, recipe, things, trying

All funny one-pot recipe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

82 shares on Slack this month:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

This email could’ve been sex.

Just shared via Threads:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Seen just now on Slack:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Trending via Twitch:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Breaking via X:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Shared recently on X:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Seen just now on Threads:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny one-pot recipe quotes

New funny one-pot recipe quotes 👇

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

All funny one-pot recipe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨