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Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Going viral on Discord:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Just landed via Slack:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Just shared via Discord:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Going viral on YouTube:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Just landed via Twitch:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

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Funny online platform quotes

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2 months ago
Share →: Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Commentary:
Haha, Twitter’s like that one friend who never stops monologuing at the party 😂🖤🗣️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Going viral on Instagram:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Just shared via Facebook:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Just landed via Slack:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Just shared via Slack:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Spotted on Twitch:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

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Funny online platform quotes

New funny online platform quotes 👇

For even more funny online platform quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny online platform quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

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