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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

40 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Live now on WeChat:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Making waves on Telegram:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Broadcasted on Discord:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Live now on YouTube:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Home » Funny Open Position Quotes

Funny open position quotes

New funny open position quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Commentary:
"Applying for a job online is like sending your resume into a black hole and then getting interviewed like you were hand-picked by the heavens above 🌟💼 It's like, hey, I applied because I need a job and you had openings – it's not rocket science! 🚀😂"

For even more funny open position quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny open position quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

40 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Trending via TikTok:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Shared recently on Discord:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Shared recently on Threads:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Trending via WeChat:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Reported on Twitch:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

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